• YAM Patel

Forgiveness, always bullied by Ego and Pride

Updated: Mar 29, 2019

Why is our forgiveness so selective? We forgive some friends and not others, forgive our husbands/wives/partners but not our best friends. We even forgive strangers and not those we know.

What stops us from forgiving? It is definitely not the fear of death or extreme weight gain. Umm me thinks it is our ego, our pride, our never ending need to be right. I am always wowed by myself when I struggle to forgive an act no matter how small or how big. Because really if Nelson Mandela could forgive his captors, Tutsis were able to forgive Hutus, and Gandi forgave hindus and muslims for their irrational behavior, why do I struggle to forgive. Why are some things forgivable and others not, why are some mistakes okay and others not. A mistake is a mistake.


When someone says to us, true honest heart felt forgiveness will set us free, we think, ya right ‘how can letting the other person believe they were right be liberating’. Well those ‘they people’ know what they are talking about.


I recently went through an interesting break up with someone close to me. Without going into details, because they are not mine to go into, the normal reaction to their actions would have been (according to all, Hollywood, social media, etc) tantrum, anger, screaming, crying etc. However, in my quest this year to really live a yoga life, I decided to do a Mandela and choose forgiveness, happiness and acceptance.

Did you fly you ask, I did I answer. We are all just actors or actresses in others lives. Stand bys and stand ins. Often when someone does something to hurt us, they are not doing it to us, they are doing it to themselves. No matter how much you scream and shout, what has happened has happened, and unless you have a time machine, it will stay that way.

But by pulling a Mandela, I realized that how we react can change the outcome from there on wards, maybe not for those around you, but for sure for yourself. In choosing forgiveness and happiness, tons of flowers grew out of the dark hole this person had dropped me in (if you have come to my yoga classes, you probably thought I was going to say, roses came out of my bottom when I was in downward facing dog). Within myself light opened up and loads of love poured it. That person in question and I became much closer friends, and even they felt the power of being forgiven, and it slowly changed them for the better.


It was liberating. Ego and Pride are nothing but superficial constructs that have been infused into our mind to create selfish, destructive behavior. There is no organ called pride or ego. No physical entity within us. If you let these imaginary non-friends guide you, then you will follow a path of unhappiness and anger and maybe even jail time.


So why not let forgiveness become your buddy instead and maybe make a little gang with happiness, kindness, and empathy. Try this gang out for a while, they will surprise you with the power they have to provide beauty where you thought there was none, or light where you only saw dark and maybe even chocolate where there are only veggies. It really really is that simple. That one simple act has set in motion a new journey of incredible happiness and positive fearless change for me. Yoga really is magic.

Forgiveness so simple and so cuddly


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